Decision Format

Consider using the following decision format when making your decision:

Parenthood

• How do you feel about being totally responsible for someone else for at least 18 years?
• Is it moral to take on the responsibilities of parenting if you are emotionally, financially, or educationally unready?
• Have you  proven your ability to take care of yourself  financially and emotionally?
• How do you feel about giving up much of your personal freedom and your privacy?
• Will you work, go to school or stay at home?
• Who will care for your child if you go to work or to school?  Will you have to pay for daycare?  How much?
• Can you afford the costs of food, clothing, housing, childcare, and medical care?  If not, how do you feel about government assistance?
• If you already have children, how would having another child impact your ability to meet their needs?
• What support would you have from your partner, your parents, your friends, your community?
• Do you know the physical risks of both pregnancy and childbirth?
• What would you lose from making a parenting decision?  What would you gain from making a parenting decision?
• How would your partner, your parents, your family, and those you would turn to for support feel about you choosing to parent?

Marriage

• Are you prepared to become adult, life partners as well as becoming parents?
• How do you feel about living with your partner on a daily basis and making decisions together?
• Do you believe marriage is necessary or are you comfortable committing to becoming parents without getting married?
• How do you think this pregnancy would affect a marriage?
• How do you feel about mutual responsibility and commitment to each other which will likely diminish your individual freedom and privacy?
• If either of you already have children, how would this marriage and another child impact those children and your ability to meet their needs?
• What kind of marriage have your parents had? Do you believe your marriage would be similar or different?
• What do you expect from your partner? What do you expect marriage will be like?
• How does your partner answer the above questions? Are your answers similar or different?
• What would you gain from a marriage under these circumstances? What would you lose from marriage under these circumstances?
• How do your parents or your family feel about your partner? Do they feel you both are ready to commit to marriage?

Adoption

• How do you feel about going through 9 months of pregnancy and delivery and then giving your child to someone else to raise?
• Is it moral to bring a child into the world when you are unable or unwilling to care for this child?
• Do you know the difference between open and closed adoption? How do you feel about each option?
• Do you know the difference between private and agency adoption?
• Would it make a difference to you if you had a boy or a girl?
• Do you know the physical risks of pregnancy and childbirth?
• What do you envision your life to be like in 5 yrs and 10 yrs if you chose adoption?
• What would you gain from an adoption decision? What would you lose from an adoption decision?
• How would you feel if the child you released for adoption wanted to contact you in the future?
• Are you aware of the legal rights of your partner if you were to choose adoption? Does he agree with adoption or would he want to exercise his parental rights?
• How would your parents feel about you choosing adoption?

Abortion

• How do you feel about being pregnant?
• How do you feel about being a parent? How do you feel about adoption?
• How did you feel about abortion before this pregnancy occurred? How has your perspective or understanding of this issue changed?   How do you feel now?
• When do you believe personhood begins? Is it moral to stop a pregnancy that has already started?
• How far along is your pregnancy? Does that impact your decision?
• Do you know what would happen during an abortion appointment? Do you understand what to expect after the abortion and what the risks of abortion are?
• Have you had an abortion before? How is this decision impacted by your previous decision? How do your current circumstances compare with your circumstances before?
• What might your life be like in 5 yrs and 10 yrs if you chose to have an abortion?
• What would you gain from an abortion decision? What would you lose from an abortion decision?
• How would your parents and partner feel about you choosing abortion?
• How would you expect to feel after an abortion? Who would you feel comfortable talking with about your experience? What are other ways you might express your feelings or find support?